Many of us have a habit of reflecting upon our year when we get to the end, prior or just as the New Year has begun.
The reflection can include questions such as:
What were the highlights?
What went well?
When did I feel most alive?
What were the challenges?
Where was I successful (in my definition) and where did I fall short of my expectations?
What emotions arose, both positive and negative, throughout the year?
These questions help us contemplate our New Year’s Resolution for the next year. Over the years, I have come to realize that New Year’s Resolutions don’t really work. They may spark us to begin some shift we desire in our lives, but in a few weeks or months (if we are lucky and disciplined) they dwindle from memory. We are back to living as we were.
In December of 2019, I participated in an online seminar called “Day of Planning.” Prior to this seminar, the participants were invited to reflect upon all the questions above and then write the story of the year for ourselves. What were the themes that arose this year?
As we began the Day of Planning, using our story of 2018, we began to contemplate and plan out how we wanted our story of 2019 to become. We began by reflecting upon what we learned in 2018, what our story taught us. Then we moved into dreaming and desiring. But we did not go to the vision, the specifics of what we are dreaming and desiring Rather our facilitator invited us into reflecting upon the qualities of what we are desiring and dreaming of.
It was a word association exercise that invited me to name three qualities that go with the word I wrote down. From there I began to cluster the qualities, to notice the themes that were arising in these qualities, such as calming, relaxing, warming, grounding. Then we wrote on each theme of qualities. What does this mean to me? It was automatic writing to allow our souls to speak.
As we continued in the day, I realized that this first exercise was very powerful. It was asking me to align my hopes for 2019 with qualities, releasing any specific vision or resolutions that I had. The qualities became the driving force in our planning. In any specific thing that I began to envision, does it bring forth these qualities that are important for the coming year?
If I concentrate upon the qualities I need to have in my life, then my energy grows, I begin to feel more vitality, hope, focus, passion. That enlivens me so I can move more fully into growth, into success, into a vision for my life that will be sustainable.
Too often we begin our year of planning with resolutions. I will lose 10 pounds this year. I will exercise more. I will cook more healthy. I will pray more often. I will... For the first few weeks during the year, we do engage our resolutions but the energy dwindles and at some point prior to Lent (for me at least) I have released the resolution and am back to my old habits.
However, by planning based upon the qualities I want to bring into my life, that changes everything. I want more Love, Peace, Joy, laughter. I want to experience beauty more, breathe deeper. These qualities will invite me to transform aspects of my life that are blocking them. As I engage that, and the qualities begin to arrive, grow, multiply, I find that I will continue to work toward more qualities I want in my life.
All of a sudden, I’ll awaken and notice that I am where I wanted to be: I have been exercising more out in nature to experience beauty daily. I have been cooking more healthy because it brings joy, it relaxes me, it invites companionship/Love, laughter around a shared table. My spiritual practice has deepened because I am seeking Love, Peace, Joy, Harmony and Balance, and Spirit is guiding, igniting, inviting me to deepen that experience through prayer, meditation, etc.
All of this is to say:
What qualities do you want to experience in 2023?
This Monday Meditation, I invite you to let go of New Year’s resolutions. Instead, spend time writing about the qualities you desire to have more of in your life.
Make a list. Put the list up where you can see it, where you are reminded of the qualities you desire in your life on a daily basis.
Take a moment at the end of the day and ask yourself: Today which quality did I notice coming forth in my day? Notice how the qualities you are seeking are arriving.
Keep praying.
Keep creating space for the qualities you desire to be born into your life.
Keep releasing what is preventing these qualities from being born.
In Kairos time, may you awaken with the awareness that, indeed, the qualities you desire to grow and birth in your life have arrived and are deepening.
May your 2023 be blessed with the Gifts of God you are praying to experience.
